Perspective.

No one seems to understand me anymore. There's a very small list of people who somehow do even though I don't make sense half the time.

I have a very different perspective on life now compared to what I did just a few months back that either isn't noticed or is completely ignored.
I don't expect anyone to understand.

I will try to explain it my very best though.

I've started looking towards the positives in life. The things that make me smile or happy all round rather than focusing on the negatives all the time. Rather than thinking "fuck I've got like 6 more hours of work left then I can get out of this shithole" I think "great 6 more hours then I can go home and do this this and this and try to relax a little bit."

I love thinking like that even though there was a point in time where I wouldn't have even considered it.

When it comes to relationships I do the same and find that I don't need to be there all the time. (And I just want to state that the only reason I'm here currently because it was my weekend after a really shit few days and ill be leaving and you won't see me a while)
However nice it is to be with someone you only need to be with them in measured doses. It keeps everything more fun and exciting as well as not so in your face. You don't have enough time to become completely annoyed by their presence or have that feeling that's like "I need space".

Having found a job has helped me a lot. Dealing with arrogant people at least 5 times a day has made me more tolerant to those kinds of people. It also gives me something to do during the day so I'm not stuck on my ass worrying or over thinking or any of that bullshit I used to do.
Each day has a purpose now. Things to do. Places to go. People to see.

I'm learning to stop caring yet again about those people who have some sort of arrogance or hatred towards myself and the things I choose. And to live my own life the way I want to. After all it is my life and no one else should have such a great impact to make me not do what I want.

And that's what I'm going to do. I'm going to live my life the way I want to no matter what anyone thinks. If someone has a problem with the way I am they can learn to live with it or get the hell out of my life.

I may have changed my mind about things I've said in the past. Or hidden things even though they are obvious. The reason I didn't voice my changed mind was because I wasn't sure if I should have or not for other people's sakes. And the reason I hide little things which are obvious is to try and make things less uncomfortable for other people.

When I get home tomorrow I've got this great idea for a design which I'm going to start when I pick up some mech pencils. I'm going to draw an angel which is being cast out from heaven with its wings being torn off and it's arm decaying and stuff as if its being passed through heaven to hell. Much like the devil was. God the bible has some good stories in it. Like that and the four horsemen. That's an epic story.

Goodnight guys. Thanks for reading.

- Red