Hello, Cold World

Firstly I want to apologise for being more depressing than anything. I'd like to think this last week has been somewhat of a learning experience for me.

For now I'm going to focus on the positives, the good things, not so much the bad things.

Being so structured in life probably isn't a good way to live, but that's just how I've learned to be organised within it.

This may be slightly contradictory to the above but why are what used to be good bands changing so much now? As if today's music is better..? I suppose all things change in time, people, music, love, art - Depending on what's popular at the time and what will sell, I guess. Today's 'music' which is played on the radio and stuff, not that I listen to a lot of it, in 50 years that style will probably be considered rock or heavy metal or something, I don't know. In my opinion (being a huge musically inspired/involved person) music should be pure in a way. I guess that's why I listen to heavier stuff, which at the moment is seemingly getting heavier haha. Because the ring of guitar notes and chords, and the true to heart lyrics that go with them seem to be the only pure form of REAL music. 

But to each their own. As much as I don't like modern music, I understand why people don't like heavy metal.

One of my friends who I met playing World of Warcraft (WoW - yes, I used to play) is in a band in Western Australia called It All Ends Here (Check them out, they are awesome, and he is the bassist) made a status on Facebook about a week ago which I thought was awesome

"Too Weird To Live - To Rare To Die"

I'm thinking about doing a concept tattoo design around that because I thought it was one of the -.... I don't know if wisest is the right word but along those lines - things I had ever heard. Each of us are unique and we all need to realise that. I don't think many people do.

I was laying in bed last night next to Him, and after waking up in the middle of the night and not being able to sleep I started thinking. Not bad stuff, just good stuff. How every heart beat of his was a gift to me and so many others lives; how every breath he takes is a miracle. And how absolutely grateful I am for that. I could not ask for anything more perfect or right. Life is live-able without him. I know it is. I lived through a year and a bit of absolute pain and self-loathing before Him. I never want to lose that and I need to stop pushing him away or whatever the hell it is that I am doing. I love him. I don't know that he believes me when I say it but I do. I don't regret a moment with him or anything else that I've done in my life - After all, why regret something when it was all and more than you wanted at one point in time?
The only thing I regret is not opening up to him sooner; but it's probably a good thing I didn't.

There's one song that I've been listening a lot to lately which for some reason makes me feel better about everything, probably because of the positivity of the lyrics

"It's such a cold, cold world / and i cant get out / So I'll just make the best of everything I'll never have / Its such a cold, cold world / and it's got me down / but i'll get right back up / as long as it spins around / Hello cold world"

- Red

Hello, cold world - Paramore Link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mbh8yT360JY